Monthly Archives: March 2021

Deep Diving into the Five Stages of Grief

Cremation services Willoughby Hills, OH, let you say goodbye to your loved one, but a memorial can’t get rid of your grief. Grief is a process that every one of us has to endure whenever we lose someone close to our heart. Grief indeed isn’t a linear process and everyone grieves in his own way, but research shows various similarities in how different people deal with grief.

Dr. Kubler-Ross’s Stages of Grief

After conducting comprehensive research on terminally ill patients, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross concluded that grieving persons undergo five major stages of how people deal with grief, which include:

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

It is pertinent to mention that an individual may experience these stages in any order – or not experience any stages at all. Also, the duration of each stage varies from person to person.

Stage 1: Denial

Denial is the initial reaction to the loss of a loved one. “No, this can’t be happening; you must be joking” or “I don’t believe it” are, mostly, the first words uttering from your mouth when you hear the news of the death of someone special.

This phase accompanies shock and the feelings of numbness as you try to cling to a false hope that the news might be wrong. Denial is our body’s natural defense mechanism to cope with overwhelming emotions of grief and sorrow, or one may say, “softening of the blow” by the brain.

Stage 2: Anger

For most people, denial lasts only for a few minutes as our brains start to accept reality and we become emotionally aware of the fact that the loved one has left us forever. That’s where the thoughts of “Life isn’t fair with me” or “Why me” begin to engender in our minds.

This phase may last from several hours to a few months to beyond, as the bereaved blames/gets angry at himself, others, or even God for the death of the loved one. It may sound irrational to many but Anger is an inherent feature of grief.

Sometimes, the bereaved may have to seek professional support to prevent them from harming themselves or those around them.

Stage 3: Bargaining

Bargaining is when you try to make a deal with God in exchange for spending more time with the loved one.

“What if” statements highlight this phase and it originates from your unconditional love for them – though logically it can’t happen. Kubler concludes that the “feelings of guilt” may also accompany the bereaved.

Stage 4: Depression

Depression is the phase when feelings of indescribable sorrow and loneliness overwhelm you. The pain, the hollowness you feel in life in the absence of the loved one makes even the small daily tasks seem insurmountable to you and you seek to refugee in isolation and memories.

This phase may last from several weeks to months, to forever, if a healthy routine is not adopted.

Stage 5: Acceptance

Kubler argued that acceptance is the last stage of grief where the person accepts the reality that the loved one is never coming back. Your emotions begin to stabilize and you get back to normal life.

However, this phase doesn’t signify that you have forgotten the loved one, you still experience sorrow and grief but have managed to cope with them and move on. Attending or planning cremation services Willoughby Hills, OH, may help you with your grief.

How to Express Your Condolences

When your grieving loved one is searching for funeral homes Willoughby Hills, OH, expressing your condolences, either in writing or in-person, is a way of acknowledging that you care for them and want to share their loss. Many people decide against showing up at the funeral services just because they’re unsure what to say to the bereaved.

We’ve compiled a list of things that you should remember while showing your sympathies with the bereaved.

Acknowledge the Loss

Start your conversation by acknowledging the loss of the mourner. Don’t make it sound like an unnatural thing and begin with something along the lines of “Heard about your loss/death of XYX – I feel so sorry/so devastated…” or “I know this must be so hard for you…”

Be Compassionate

The very purpose of expressing condolences is to reflect your concern for the grieving family. Your words should communicate how sad and devastated you’re at the loss of the loved one. Ensure your support and care for them and let the person know you’re aware of their difficult journey through grief.

Saying “I am thinking of you/I am always here for you /You’re in my thoughts/I will always miss him or her…” would provide strength and solace to the bereaved to get through these tough times.

Express Your Own Emotions (of Sadness)

Don’t shy from sharing your own feelings of sadness or being shocked. But avoid implying that you know how they’re feeling or coping with the loss. They could misread/misunderstand it as a way of downplaying their grief of losing the loved one.

Don’t Dwell for Too Long

You need to focus more on making the grieving person feel comforted, instead of asking unnecessary and overgeneralized questions like “How are you feeling?”, “How are you doing/holding up?”, or “How are you coping with loss?” If need be, ask questions like “Do you need anything?”, “Have you got enough support?”

Be succinct and specific in your conversation – or writing – and keep reminding the person that you’ll be with them through every thick and thin. That’s what they want to hear the most during or after the funeral services.

Share Memories/Qualities of the Loved One

Talking about the loved one goes a long way in providing consolation to the bereaved. Mention the distinct qualities of the loved one that made him/her a special person and tell the mourners how the deceased’s upright character had brought a positive impact in your or others’ lives – and will continue to do so.

Don’t be afraid from sharing cherished or happy memories you’ve had with the lost loved one. A sentence like “I remember this about him/her vividly …” can provide a gateway to talk about the deceased.

Give Hope

Always sign-off your conversation on optimistic terms. Give them hope and resilience to fight through the grief journey and return to normal life quickly.

Stay in Touch

Mostly, the community’s support fades too quickly after the funeral services. This often makes the bereaved feel isolated or depressed. You need to keep in touch with them and keep asking about their health and work life.

Paying a surprise visit after funeral homes Willoughby Hills, OH, and offering some gifts would earn you the acclaim of a compassionate and kind-hearted individual.

Writing a Perfect Condolence Message

Before or after cremation services Waite Hill, OH, you can send a bereavement message to a grieving friend or family member who has recently lost a loved one. It is a long-tested way of showing your empathy and care for the bereaved.

But the issue is that many people face difficulty in crafting a balanced and meaningful condolence message, especially if the message is to people whom you’ve never met. This angst often leads to procrastination, or not offering condolences at all.

Truth is, writing a perfect condolence message offering your support and help is easier than you think it is, and here’s how you do it.

How to Start

First things first, writing the first few lines is probably the most difficult part of composing a condolence message. The key is not to dwell on the message, instead focus on task completion. You may craft your message on scrap paper if you’re unsure about what to write.

Start by offering your condolences by mentioning the deceased’s name. Tell the recipient of the message how sorry and sad you’re at their loss and ensure your unconditional support to them. Phrases like “I am so sorry to hear about your loss…”, “I am devastated hearing the news that …”, or” I am deeply saddened to hear the news of …”

If you’re writing to a family member, begin with “Dear” and should mention the name of every family member.

Mention Good Qualities

After the first couple of lines, mention some positive traits of the deceased. Talking about the good qualities of the lost loved that had a far-reaching influence on you, your organization, and/or the community provides a tremendous amount of comfort and solace to the bereaved.

Begin sentences with words like “he was so kind…; he was so polite…; he always used to help…; By all accounts, he was…” and end the section with, “I wish I had known his better; or Gone but never forgotten”

In this part, you can use a lighter tone of writing and can share happy and cherished moments spent with the deceased. The bereaving family loves to hear about stories of the loved one and find a great deal of comfort in it. But if you didn’t have such moments together, jotting down the deceased’s positive qualities will suffice.

Mention the Funeral

It’s recommended to write the condolence message soon after hearing the tragic news. Moving to action within the first is the best thing you could do; else, the sooner, the better. It will give you a chance to mention whether or not you’ll be able to make it to the funeral – if you’re invited.

In case, you can’t attend the funeral, write something like “Please accept my deepest apologies for not being able to attend the services.”

End on Positive Terms

End the condolence message with something like, “With love, with caring thoughts, with sympathies…”, to mention a few.

What Else to Mention

Don’t shy from expressing your emotions and feelings
Offer support to them – both financially and emotionally
Don’t share jokes or humorous stories or use a funny tone
Avoid saying things like, “They are in a better place or “It was all God’s plan”

Cremation services Waite Hill, OH, may spark intense emotions.

What Happens in an Islamic Funeral?

Funeral homes Waite Hill, OH, may be involved when you’re saying goodbye to your deceased loved one. Many Muslims live in North America. Let us shed light on Muslims’ beliefs about funerals and what you may expect while attending a Muslim funeral.

Islamic Belief About Death

Muslims view death as a transition to the afterlife. For Muslims, the funeral is a highly spiritual event where the mourners not only comfort the bereaved but also pray to Allah, an Islamic term for God, to forgive the sins of the deceased. It is a community event where a large number of fellow Muslims are likely to show up.

A typical Muslim funeral lasts for about 30-60 minutes and involves:

Rites and Traditions of Islamic Funeral

The most important ritual is that the burial should take place as soon as possible – possibly within 24 hours of the death. Most Muslims discourage autopsy and organ donation as they are considered as a sign of desecrating the body unless it’s mandated by law. Cremation is strictly prohibited in Islam – bar none.
Similarly, embalming is also avoided in a normal situation. For this reason, wake, visitation, or viewing ceremonies are not held in Muslim funerals.
Islamic arrangements begin soon after the death of the loved one. The deceased’s body is brought to the family home where it’s washed three times by the close family members of the same sex as the person died, called Ghusl. The cleaned body is then wrapped around in a White cloth – called Kaffan. Men are generally wrapped in three sheets while women, in five.
The body is then carried to a courtyard, prayer room, or community square where the attendees congregate to offer the funeral prayer. The mourners are arranged in at least 3 rows with the closest males in the front row/s, preceded by children and women, all turned to face Makkah – the holy center of Islam. A religious scholar, same as a Priest in a Catholic funeral, leads the funeral prayers.
After that, the procession is taken to the burial site where final words of prayers for the deceased are offered – typically, some readings from Quran – before he or she is lowered into the ground by immediate kin. Another conspicuous Islamic tradition is to have every attendee throw three handfuls of sand into the grave.
Women are generally discouraged from attending the funeral prayers while in some communities, they do attend.
After the funeral, the mourners gather in the family home of the deceased to show sympathy with the bereaved. Usually, a meal is served to all the guests. The mourning period lasts for 40 days during which the guests continue to show up – but most families tend to keep it shorter.
Both men and women are expected to dress modestly, which includes a shirt and trousers for men and long-sleeved high-neck tops, ankle shirts with a headscarf for women.
It’s very common for non-Muslims to visit Muslim funerals. While doing so, respect their traditions and don’t wear any tights, stockings, or see-through dresses. You may remain silent during the whole funeral service – which lasts 30-60 minutes.

Funeral homes Waite Hill, OH, can help with you the planning process.

BLOG